dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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