YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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