Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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