pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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