I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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