maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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