Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I hate all girls vehemently.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize