This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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