Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize