he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
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I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
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He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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