Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
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We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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