u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
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