I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's never too late to be topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize