I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
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I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
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The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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