u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
These tits shall not be calmed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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