i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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