I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize