Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
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