I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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