Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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