Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
is that a dick in a sweater?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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