You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize