where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
you guys were way drunker than both of me
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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