i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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