Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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