I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
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This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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