How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
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