I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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