i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
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Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
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Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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