I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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