Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
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You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
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you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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