So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
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Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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