I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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