So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
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he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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