worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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