Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
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