i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
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Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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