Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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