I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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