i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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