Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize