my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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