watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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