Is it normal to miss your booty call?
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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