hotel room ftw
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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