We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
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I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
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I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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