I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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