you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize