what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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