Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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